Monday, February 4, 2013

A kid's dairy

It's suppose to be a good day. A day I wanted to buy my new clothes and shopping, A day We are free from everything. I woke up early 9a.m, well not so early. I'm ready and wait to fetch you to breakfast. So I hold my stomach until you call me.

It was a rainy day too. not too heavy just nice to feel windy and fresh. but things seem already fixed. the raining day wasn't a good sign to start off. all I can say is, So wasted. 

I hope you can  sleep well every night. sleep early every night. because I know you will have hot temper when you are tired. mentally or physically or both. I wish you good night. push you to sleep every night. 

I'm not anti social. I'm just enough of everything I see, the people and things that have done. I can see though many things, I remember the past and couldn't just let it goes off like that. I prefer to drown in games. A place where I control everything. A place that people do not revive their emotion. A place that I got my real freedom to do anything I want. 

I'm NOT pessimistic. I craving every single joy inside darkness. I'm good enough to think in many different way 1 incident. I'm confused, which path belong to me.

We went for breakfast as planned. but the jam was too terrible. If you know me, I hate traffic jam the most. I welling to do anything just to skip the traffic JAM. Hungry and stupid traffic, makes both of us frustrated. I understand it clearly. what can I do? I smile when you show me the face again. The rain understand me. 

We went to bank. settle down the money. The traffic was not smooth, and that indicates something bad gonna happen again. 

After all, we start to shop in IOI. I love everything inside the complex. We went though alot shops and keep on testing my clothes. your smile is real this time, I know. Finally I decided to buy some clothes and short pants with your help. At the end I realise, I do not really care much on all design, I care on your satisfaction of the shirt wore on my body. Before we left, you bought some fruits and waffles to be consumed in the car. Who knows it gonna jam again. 

Smooth traffic all the way back. lucky. This time, everything is smooth. We had some great moment in house. relax, and it was really a great nap. However, the napping duration wasn't enough for us. For some reasons. they couldn't decide for their dinner. 

They both get frustrated. The guy tells the girl. Lets think about it together. 
When disaster came. we holding both our hands. encouraging each other so that no one will give up. Any  barriers is solvable when we decided to hold our hand and do it together. The guy who tell this once cried badly. He is a guy who don't care to cry in front of her. Because he truly love her. He deeply want her to change because he knows he can not stand forever with her attitude. 

Dinner. He's eating alone. He thinking of what happened in the day. The joys they shared and the places they  passed thou. He never expect this during dinner. He rush himself to finish it as soon as possible. The rice is hard. the meat is tasteless. 

They going back. The boy ask her, do you happy today?

The girl never answer, but nodded her head wit the eye sight looking at outside. She gave him a very discomfort face, said: want to go back. 

Tears might have dropped if this happened in 2 years ago. He is no longer who he is. The girl might say. 
But what makes him this way. Only the guy knows it well. 

And his tears fall. when he's alone typing all this. 


I love you.
my darling.