A story about reality

I'm a trader.
A trader simply means a person who buy something at a cheaper price,
and sell it at a reasonable higher price after making the item valuable to others.
From there, you gain revenue.

I trying my best in low profile.
Besides my dearest girl friend and family.
No much know about it.

Back to old time when I knew myself love in trading.
All started with online games, I buy and sell items, potions, weapons, scrolls, and so on.
I would sit infront of my computer 8hours just to hanging around to buy cheap items and intentionally selling at a higher price to people who need it. That's my hobby that moment.

It finally has a chance to get trading reality.
A chance that I desired for long time, people say chance are given to people who prepared. It means something now.
I appreciate and thank you to my darling who giving me this oppotunity to learn a new lesson in my life.
Having her beside my during all my challenges, everything seems easy.
Broken items, rejected items, printing conflits, stock shortage, so much and so much.
It caused alot of headache sometimes honesly speaking.
but when you receive the cheque, I always tell myself everything is worth it.

I took the first deal.
I always remember how long I prepare the statements, nego-ing the price.
It's full of excitement, exporing, challenging yet enjoyable experiences.
I enjoy every deal, I put all my heart in every deal.
Dealing is both two parties compromise an agreement to produce interest at both sides
I would never give up and do everything to make sure it runs smoothly in future if I could. 

It's hurt when I receive the news.
She says they are our competitor and you are working with them.  
I'm a fresh graduatee student. I try hard to find a job that provide a stage that can smoothen or polish my professional skills that I learnt for my past 4 years. I Found It. 

The decision wasn't too hard to make. It makes a sense that I have choosen. 
I'm just surprised that when I reading the letter I wrote, I'm so touch. 

Get or lost. 

I learnt a priceless lesson. 

A position that no one would make it in future. 

oh GOsh! 

Trading is awesome! 

It's true. 

别怕，这路已看到终点

回到家里，没有二话就把热水煲好了。
无意间想起是时候把交房租了。
把钱拿到楼上去给房主。

其实没什么大不了，习惯就好。
我了解自己，也不曾看不起自己。
因为我明白自己生活背景影响自己性格一切，
自己思考方式，生活方式，都是自然发生。
我并不幼稚，
然而我并没有选择自己的开头。
我还在跟着岁月，时间，经验慢慢成长。
认真，或不认真。
并不是用眼睛观看，而是用心体会的。

我不容易生气，
也并不是我没有自尊。
还是我坦然赞同。
只是，心理明白，
就算你不再支持我的梦，
我选择的梦依然持续。

我切尽所能，做应该做的。
路好难走，寂寞好难堪，
偶尔真的好伤，偶尔让自己迷惑下去
但这路依然没有到终点前，都不能放弃。

这些语言，都是我奋斗的动力。
这些幻觉英雄，我知道不存在。
这些标准，我确定不正确。
我永远更不会拿你和别人做比较。
你，是我爱的你。只有一个。
好的我欣赏，坏的我包容。

我还是我，不管多久多长。

我不知道未来，

但我知道，我要做的，

不可能做不到。

吃得苦中苦,方为人上人

今天 可以说是我最忙的一天，仿佛完全没有休息

吃了早餐后，就匆匆忙忙, 跟着时间赛跑

先来到KL，做完事情后

就立刻到PJ, 以为还蛮准时,还要等待

虽然并不是很饿，但时间关系，

随便解决了午餐，

然后，就立刻匆匆得飞去KLANG

这是我工作第一次迟到，幸好只是罚钱。

毕竟我连自己做工地方电话号码都不知道，所以无法提前联络

反正也没有人得空回应我的迟到。

到店里，就没有停过了,

一直到7点放工

心理已经筋疲力竭了,

想着终于可以冷静下来了。

27.85

我是男人。一口气。一个信念。

虽然今晚并没有完美, 问心 无愧。

这疲惫, 倒霉一天。

我把它丢在这里，

因为我不想把不高心事情，

变得更彻底, 恶劣。

希望我做个好梦，

太阳依然升起,

明天又是奋斗的一天，开心的一天，

加油，俊源！

头脑要清脆，

思想要简单,

计划要周到,

目标要一致，

信念要稳固，

压力要控制，

情绪要自制，

喜怒要衡量，

我要一直坚持。

看这镜子，我清楚，

自己一点都不差

Highlights of the day

8 year old patient came with parents, complaint of blurred vision at near. Sometimes she will use her daddy reading glasses to read.

Refraction and cyclo-refraction shows Plano on both eyes.
Dr. commend on her, eyes are healthy, just sometimes she feel tired and dry eye. so just use some eye drops and rest more will do. Their parents face doesn't seem agree with what doctor says.

After consultation,
I personally bring the parents into the refraction room. I gave them  explanation on their daughter's eyes. I tell them, Your daughter's eyes muscles weakness could be one of the reasons why she having the problem with near work. Convergence insufficiency or accommodation insufficiency are potential to cause your daughter problem.

Although it seems not suppose to, I prescribed them +0.50 DS for reading purpose, ask her to stop wearing her daddy glasses. And taught her and parents pencil push up test just for 3times per day. It finally make some sense to them. That's all I could help, I say.

Daddy told me, "thank you. I'll make sure she do it everyday."    

Nothing special actually, I just think she at least deserve to know the fact of her eye since the parents paid RM158 and waited for 3 hours.

P/s: Doctor is good at marketing and consulting (persuading)

A little note to my life now

Working at this company has too much multi tasking, too many new things to learn, too much of task has to be done.

I step out from my house for the first time, with too many passions and targets. I'm going to achieve those goals I set. keep remaining myself.

Living outside alone was not easy. I learn to wash my first cloth, prepare my own breakfast just some milk and oak, cook my hot water every night. "You are on your own" my mother told me. not quite. thanks to my lovely girl friend and my caring family, I'm always grateful to have you all, sometimes just making me more dependant.

In order to survive for long at here,  I need to be mentally and physically strong. I must control my emotion and play with it to the maximum. I need to be healthy, stay healthy and sleep early all night. No one will take care of you when you are down. The only way to prevent you down, stay healthy.

Fast learning is also compulsory here. If I'm walking too slow, I'm going to drag the whole team with me. Then, I will automatically become a burden. No time to think what I have learnt during my Uni, most of them are not useful during my career. What more important is, learn to show out to patient that you are different from others and given them confident and educating them. At least I must do this, if I can't do then I'm failure to be an optometrist.

No need to show off. No need. Because it's no need. Show off doesn't mean you keep presenting some knowledge. Show off also includes denial  people's statements. Act like a fool is a best way to learn most. When 2 persons is arguing a facts on a topic that you clearly understood, I would just stand a side and listen instead of telling out the truths. because at the end what they cares is, who wins.

There are 2 things I can gain from here,
1- shaping the ability skill to multitasking
2- study how system works so well in a company

It's time to do thing alittle bit more seriously.

My father started his career from bottom of the roof, and so I do.

From a easy or hard way, I'm still going to learn this lesson.
I know, early or late, I'm going to do it myself one day.
Rich or poor, I'm already prepare to experience both.
Want or not, I made my decision to put me into this condition.

Plan is clear and precise as I told you.
Step by Step.
Nothing changed from the plans.
There's a reason for what it named.

Someone says,
foolish or sturburn.
Idiot as called or blur.
lost or dependance.

I will prove everything was wrong.
At least from my perspective.
Because you never know how much perseverance I have. 
until I do it. 

当我准备好时

1，看了一个很有意义的video, 决定把它收藏。

说到两种人；社会主义者和非社会主义者。

给了我一些灵感，

朋友多少并不重要，重要的多少是会为你好的。为你着想的。

而认识朋友的眼光是非常重要，

因为他们对你生活的影响力是超越你想象的。

你生活点点滴滴，快乐与否大部分由他们决定。

想害你的人往往对着你笑哈哈，

心理却并不是真心帮助你，

而真正对你好的人，

往往却懒得多余的应酬。

然而最重要的是任何压力，

都应该用平常心去看待。

找到中心点，

才能更随心应手去面对

2， 婆婆刚刚和我说，

“你不要出去住，不然我没有了一个伴”

我们家人有个不可理喻的婆婆，

因为她容易得罪人。

所以不被大部分人喜欢，

孙子，儿女，都好。

也没有常常来探望，

平时只是坐在自己座位上，自言自语。

而我，就坐在电脑前，

听下她说以前生活多困难，

现在脚有多痛，还是生活多么没享受过。

等等。

我们又何尝不明白，

但又如何，你从不聆听，也不接受

听见你这样说，我心里莫名其妙很感动。

毕竟和你生活了那么久。

你心里只是想为我们全部人好，

你表达方式让我们都不会心领，

我们都想爱你。

我唯一婆婆，我会默默保护你。

你不会知道，因为我还是会反驳你。

3， 要开工了，

好像去探险那样，

我不相信那么压力，

不管再压力，我一定会寻找机会让自己休息，

那是我长项。

賈伯斯真實的遺言

上帝造人時，給我們以豐富的感官，是為了讓我們去感受他預設在所有人心底的愛，而不是財富帶來的虛幻。我生前贏得的所有財富我都無法帶走，能帶走的只有記憶中沉澱下來的純真的感動以及和物質無關的愛和情感，它們無法否認也不會自己消失，它們才是人生真正的財富。

为生活而生活。

为兴趣而生活，

为自己而生活，

为爱而生活，

也不为金钱而生活。

这是底线。

当我准备好这心态，

我才真正准备好。

珍惜是在还来得及时做的。

只要我还有呼吸一天，
我都会用尽我全力保护这段爱情。

相依为命，我们过着每一天，
就算考试，就算太多功课，就算是无所事事，
我们都一起面对，
一起庆祝，一起驾车到不一样地方找吃。
我一直都在珍惜。珍惜代表维持。
维持不应该破坏，应该好好增添新鲜感。

还记得我们每次去的地方吗？
我么庆祝吃的spaghetti。
车就像我们的第二个家，我们说话，我们睡觉，我们研究，我们闲聊。



这天里，看着你的电话。
心理其实很伤心，
你说我不认路。
但你忘了我们一起拿着gps乱闯的时候，
我们决心一起迷路的勇气那么坚决。

两人相处久了，就一定会厌倦吗？
我一直都不相信。

一些，心语

4年大学生涯

期待了10年有多，

无声无息，没有大不了的激情，

就这样，落幕。

爸爸说，这是人生新的一页。

有人说，这是麻木生活的开始。

不管眼前是怎样的一条路，

我依然不会变，选择永远与我同在。

我会坚决做自己想做的。

我会忍耐一切给我烦恼的。

我会朝向自己所定下的目标。

不管多么遥远，多么阻碍。

只因为，

我目标明确。

感情是需要磨练的

没有平平庸庸的路线，才让感情更被考验。

我们其实都很幸福，有的一切已经很多。

问题只是我们是否会自足。

3年里，我们分享了快乐，悲伤，

分享了，种种困难。

又开心也有难过，我们都经过了。

我们互相了解，习惯彼此的性格，

我们接受对方好和不好的一面。

我们做到了。

而接下来日子里，可能就不一样了。

我们接下来的挑战就是，到外工作。

也许见面少了，但我们因此有了成若。

也许，接下来压力大了。

我们彼此有了自足和珍惜。

不平凡的路程其实不容易一个人走。

因为会容易跌倒，但因为牵着你的手。

我们互相扶持。

不管路多远，

希望牵着的都是你的手。

别再把心事放心理， 

不然只有误会。

因为事实往往不是你想的那么悲观。

是个失败的大选

说坦白，我是很愤怒。
在这天前，我已经考虑清楚希望要一个怎亚的政府。
一大早就带着一股正义的气息来到了投票局，

没想到国政竟然如此手段。
计票中，明明就遥遥领先。
迟迟不肯公开选举成绩。


运送票，停电，外劳。
心都酸了，累了。

也许我应该用另种角度想想，
如果马来人不想反，
22% 的华人只有无可奈何。
活在多元种族的国家里，
人人平等， 仿佛很遥远。

这样政府其实没有错。
因为是人民要的政府。


在未来日子，
华人在野，
马来人在朝。

没什么好埋厌了，成绩已公布。
我应该相信政治本来就是很黑暗的。
我们华人，陪你玩了个白痴游戏。


今天后，
我们只有更坚强活下去。
终于可以睡了。

第一次，也是最激动的一次

这些年来，我们都活在马来西亚。
我们习惯了这里的风俗，环境和气候。
而马来西亚其实是个很美好的国家，
这里民主，没有天灾，也没有暴力。
我很开心是这里的一分子。

然而，这里让人头痛的就是
我们活在那些玩弄种族课题 “大人物” 的社会里。
让我们不再和谐，让我们对其他族群有了抗拒。

他们说，回教党会把政府变成回教法制。
他们也说，火箭会忽略了马来族群。
他们说，他们不会执政。
他们利用种族课题散动民心。
我不要在这种环境下多30年。

明天，就是大马第13届大选。
这票不是要投给回教。
这票是给改变和反掉所有的烂权，把那蛇鼠一窝给清理。
抱歉，马华其实很多优秀的人才。
但，太软弱了。

如果他们能赢。
我希望成若的可以做到。

福利国

两线制


他们说革命需要流血。
九把刀说，革命需要超强的武功。

而我已准备好了。

当我们心情不好

乐观还是悲观 其实就是关键
我们活在一个被约束的世界里,
这世上本来就是恶魔, 而我们只是奴才

心情不好时, 要多多释放,
心情好时,也要多多领悟其他道理,
所以明天我决定了, 个自己一个假期,
好好的休息休息,

你呢, 如果你心情不好 会不会给自己一点时间休息?
还是, 你会把它建立在另外的思想空间里?
让它从悲观的角度渗透.

好久不见, 那时很爱耍酷却又不酷的我. 

那时, 我总是在自由. 爱随心完成事情.

现在,我依然可以. 

A kid's dairy

It's suppose to be a good day. A day I wanted to buy my new clothes and shopping, A day We are free from everything. I woke up early 9a.m, well not so early. I'm ready and wait to fetch you to breakfast. So I hold my stomach until you call me.

It was a rainy day too. not too heavy just nice to feel windy and fresh. but things seem already fixed. the raining day wasn't a good sign to start off. all I can say is, So wasted. 

I hope you can  sleep well every night. sleep early every night. because I know you will have hot temper when you are tired. mentally or physically or both. I wish you good night. push you to sleep every night. 

I'm not anti social. I'm just enough of everything I see, the people and things that have done. I can see though many things, I remember the past and couldn't just let it goes off like that. I prefer to drown in games. A place where I control everything. A place that people do not revive their emotion. A place that I got my real freedom to do anything I want. 

I'm NOT pessimistic. I craving every single joy inside darkness. I'm good enough to think in many different way 1 incident. I'm confused, which path belong to me.

We went for breakfast as planned. but the jam was too terrible. If you know me, I hate traffic jam the most. I welling to do anything just to skip the traffic JAM. Hungry and stupid traffic, makes both of us frustrated. I understand it clearly. what can I do? I smile when you show me the face again. The rain understand me. 

We went to bank. settle down the money. The traffic was not smooth, and that indicates something bad gonna happen again. 

After all, we start to shop in IOI. I love everything inside the complex. We went though alot shops and keep on testing my clothes. your smile is real this time, I know. Finally I decided to buy some clothes and short pants with your help. At the end I realise, I do not really care much on all design, I care on your satisfaction of the shirt wore on my body. Before we left, you bought some fruits and waffles to be consumed in the car. Who knows it gonna jam again. 

Smooth traffic all the way back. lucky. This time, everything is smooth. We had some great moment in house. relax, and it was really a great nap. However, the napping duration wasn't enough for us. For some reasons. they couldn't decide for their dinner. 

They both get frustrated. The guy tells the girl. Lets think about it together. 

When disaster came. we holding both our hands. encouraging each other so that no one will give up. Any  barriers is solvable when we decided to hold our hand and do it together. The guy who tell this once cried badly. He is a guy who don't care to cry in front of her. Because he truly love her. He deeply want her to change because he knows he can not stand forever with her attitude. 

Dinner. He's eating alone. He thinking of what happened in the day. The joys they shared and the places they  passed thou. He never expect this during dinner. He rush himself to finish it as soon as possible. The rice is hard. the meat is tasteless. 

They going back. The boy ask her, do you happy today?

The girl never answer, but nodded her head wit the eye sight looking at outside. She gave him a very discomfort face, said: want to go back. 

Tears might have dropped if this happened in 2 years ago. He is no longer who he is. The girl might say. 

But what makes him this way. Only the guy knows it well. 

And his tears fall. when he's alone typing all this. 

I love you.

my darling. 

天忌英才

这世界怎么了。

老兄，你怎么了。

我不相信有什么问题可以难倒你，
一个独立，勤力，肯奋斗，有毅力的你

你曾经还是我学习对象。
你在我生活里，
让我看透很多，也学会很多。

如今，
我依然不相信你会选这条路。

但，你做的决定，
往往不会马虎，
你有自己处事的方法。

竟然选了，就勇往直前吧。
不要回头了。

R.I.P

Boxer

Something has lost.
I thought it was gone.
until I saw this video.

"Welcome back"
said Alex.

我相信

压力。

只来自于我爸爸。
自小到现在，没有变过。

从小，我就不爱读书。
但每次被爸爸训话后，
自然有股要改变世界的冲动，
常常你说的，我都是用心聆听，常常思考，

但，奇怪的是，
做出的改变往往就是3分钟。
不多过4分钟。

还记得，我中5的时候，
因为是长子，爸爸要我好好读书。
那时的补习时间表我永远记得。
星期一到星期六，补习时间排到满满。

也许年龄大了，思想也变了，
生活态度不再平淡，不是一就一，
我要的生活。
已经不再是以前的匆匆茫茫，
我要的是事半功倍的生活。

你说的，其实都没错。
在大马做华人真的不简单。
我也不是那么伟大，想为马来西亚改变什么。

但我很坦白的和你说了。
我还是相信自己相信的。
就算不是事实，就让我被骗一次。
到了我应该接受事实的时候，
我将会彻底接受。

生活价值观。
见仁见智。

休息，是为了走更长的路

生活突然变得好狼狈，
不知是不是因为你这两个礼拜没在我身边，
我有点不知所措。
我竟然还会忘了小便，哈哈。

这里环境，本来就是不健康的。
除了每天要强逼自己脸带笑容，
还要有堆积如山的报告要做，

我本来就不是勤奋的人，
我不是一个很有耐力的人，
我喜欢多姿多采，
不喜欢规律，更不喜欢限制。

我喜欢传达别人知识，喜欢感化他人，
喜欢解决问题，却不喜欢按部就班。
喜欢与人交谈，却不喜欢被人监视。
我喜欢学习，却不喜欢多样化的方式。


“可是人生，
美好的是太少”


我们活着就是要控制自己的生活，
要成为自己生活上的主人，
不一定要荣华富贵，还是要有名有势。
不一定要人见人爱，还是受人尊敬。

对我而言，活着就是要自足，懂得自由，

要做生活上的主人，而不是奴才。

赢得生活。

要先学会，控制时间，沟通，金钱，危机意识，

还有最重要的，平常心。

Intern-ship. :)

Today, I officially ends my Intern ship.
I went for Intern once I started my sem7 Uni.
day to day, 2 weeks passed unexpectedly fast.

It was a great experience with great supervisors (3 of them)
Staff from up stair, friends from surrounding,
I used few days to get use to the environment.

It was amazing, and I was stunned to their hostility
They teach whatever I asked, borrow me what ever I need.

We buka puasa together. thanks for the foods.

Thanks for the soft copy. 

Thanks for the notes. 

Thanks for teaching me so much. 

Thanks for proposing me for part time job. 

Thanks for your willingness and patience. 

Thanks for your shoe bag. 

Thanks for AyamMas 

and now, I'm leaving.

Leaving like a  

BOSS!

幸福总是渺小

当你拥有时，幸福总是很渺小。 当你失去时，你总是会后悔内疚更珍惜。

我打开你的部落格，听着播放的歌曲。
心理却没那么生气了，

心理想，你就是这样子的。
你说过，没什么开心的事好写，
近来都是不开心的。

我说，你现在不开心吗？
然后牵着你的手。看着你眼睛。
你笑笑：我开心啊！ 但是有时就是没有灵感。 : )


对我，为了小事往往你不能忍耐，
我这些不好的，做不对的，没在乎的，太在乎的，讲错，做错，想做的。
你都有意见，都觉得不顺眼。
渐渐，我已经迷失自己。我没有自己思考空间。
我已经渐渐的变得不是我。
常常在夜里寻找自己，放空自己。

我好爱你。真的很爱你。
为什么你常常让我无法呼吸，让我有种逃避的感觉。
为什么你总是喜欢指责我。

我渐渐变得像个很没有用的人。
我心理好像用问题。
就快要倒下了。

我很想抱着你。紧紧地抱着你。
和你说，亲爱的，
我想和你和睦相处。快快乐乐。
我当你生活中，陪伴彼此的心仪对象。
我想回到从前那些时光。

我好爱你。
看着你可爱的脸孔，
我觉得你是世界上最可爱美丽的天使。
你的笑容，撒娇，都让我陶醉。


我真的好。。。

好想哭。